While I appreciate the sentiment behind “Redo: A few thoughts on the wonder of our moms” of May 11 , I think few people are well served by painting mothers as saints. Mothers are real, complicated people, warts and all.

Some women cannot conform to the stereotype, because of their own limitations or due to circumstances. Some women choose not to.

Mother’s Day is hard for people whose mothers did not cope well with motherhood. I have a friend who got in trouble at school when she refused to write a letter on Mother’s Day thanking her dysfunctional mom for packing her lunch every day, because her mother never made lunches or provided much care or guidance at all.

On the other hand, some women are excellent parents without ever whipping up “culinary delights on demand” or driving anyone to soccer. It’s time to get real about motherhood.

Bertie Weddell


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