Tough times all over

Dear Moscow Police Department ... I would like to apologize for the mistake I made in having a shift longer than three hours. Times are hard and I know you, like myself, are struggling to get by, what with this pandemic and all.

The pandemic has been keeping the residents of Moscow indoors, and the students of the university out of town entirely, so I’m selling fewer meals and you’re writing fewer tickets.

Business is slow, I get it. It was selfish of me to fill one of the dozens of available parking spots in the Jackson Street lot, especially when so few of the people in our bustling little town were scrambling to patronize our ailing Main Street businesses on a slow Wednesday afternoon. Sure, the three-hour time limit only really makes sense during the Farmer’s Market. And sure, parking and moving violations are essentially regressive taxes levied upon and disproportionately impacting low income citizens.

And sure, in any shift at or exceeding six hours, it is unlikely one’s break will come prior to the three-hour mark to ensure one can change their parking and avoid a ticket.

And sure, in any shift shorter than six hours, one simply does not earn a break under Idaho labor law. So sure, the chances of a low-income worker returning to repark their car in time is slim, but that’s not your fault. But I digress.

I apologize for trying to make ends meet.

With bills to pay, food to buy, and gas to burn, I suppose I really didn’t need that $25 anyway. With so few hours available for the better part of a year now, I suppose I can give 2½ hours of my life to you. In these trying times, I really hope it helps.

With truly only the sincerest of regrets,

David Catts


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