Tooth & Nail: A tortoise in the attic ... and the thought of owning a rhinoceros

A Rio de Janeiro family lost its pet tortoise during a remodeling of its home some 30 years ago. After the patriarch died, the family went up into the attic to clear out their beloved father’s possessions.

Lo and behold, the family claims to have found its pet tortoise alive and well in the attic. Tortoises can live for a very long time without food. Not for 30 years, however. So, while not impossible, the only likely explanation is as follows. Apparently the family’s attic was infested with termites. The insects could have easily provided enough sustenance and liquid for the creature to live on. How probable is this story? Who knows?

Every state in the union has a list of animals that are banned from being kept as pets. The lists available are sometimes reasonable and sometimes prompt head scratching.

Alabama, for example, bans ownership of mongoose, jackrabbits, moose, deer, elk and foxes. Mongoose and jackrabbits are understandable. The ungulates — moose, deer, and elk — are no doubt banned to protect livestock and local deer populations from disease. Banning foxes makes sense because it is likely Alabama has a few rabies cases reported in wild foxes every year.

Foxes can be made into somewhat interesting pets. They are incredibly loyal to those who feed them, and their vocalizations are very entertaining. Check out some of the videos people have posted online. Most people make pets of foxes from fur farms.

In most states, residents cannot own any protected wild bird or animal, except with written permission from a designated employee of their local game agency or in some cases the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.

In California, one may not make pets of wolverines, bighorn sheep or falcons. Before you ask about falconers, recall they are licensed by the federal government and sometimes within their state as well.

In Idaho, one generally may not keep big cats, all nonnative canine species and primates. Idaho will get you if it determines you are keeping any nonnative animal that is deemed dangerous to the environment, livestock, agriculture or wildlife. Such deleterious animals include deer, wolves, cheetahs, jaguars, lions, tigers, wild sheep and the European hedgehog. Curiously, the state does not reference a danger to humans. Idahoans can own exotic animals with special permits.

Banned pets in Washington include crocodiles, elephants, lions, tigers, cheetahs, and hyenas. Washington also bans bears and certain types of snakes. People who owned banned animals before recent laws took effect were allowed to keep their animals (grandfathered in) until they die.

Oregon is a little different. It bans wildcats, primates and any canine not indigenous to Oregon.

Oregon residents must obtain a permit from the State Department of Agriculture to own exotic animals although exemptions are in place for certain situations. 

For example, people with disabilities who rely on service monkeys, for instance, would be granted an exemption.

I’ve often wondered if I got an exotic pet, what would it be? I’ve settled on getting a pet rhino. I figure I could teach him to ride in the back of the pickup after beefing up the suspension (just for good measure.)

No parking spaces available? Get the rhino out on a leash and have him hook that big front horn under the side panel of some Honda Civic or whatnot and give it a flip. Presto! Convenient parking. After all, who’s going to argue with a trained rhino naturally equipped with bad eyesight?

Powell is the retired public information officer for Washington State University’s College of Veterinary Medicine. This column reflects his thoughts and no longer represents WSU. For questions or concerns about animals you’d like to read about, email charliepowell74@gmail.com