An open conversation on death

For about two hours on Tuesday, the Moscow Public Library had an open discussion about death from community members across the Palouse.

Amber Ziegler led the first “Death Cafe” and said she had attended one or two in Pullman before the pandemic. The group met inside the juvenile section, the largest sitting area in the library. There was coffee, tea and sweet treats available for attendees.

This is Ziegler’s first program since she is a circulation assistant and programming is not generally part of her job. She partnered with Rebecca Rivapalacio, the adult services manager, to put on the cafe.

“This is a place to come together as a group and have a conversation about death and dying,” Ziegler said.

A “Death Cafe,” Ziegler said, is a place for anyone to get together and talk about death — in an open and respectful manner. These cafes are not grief counseling but instead a place to discuss the many aspects of death.

According to the guide available on deathcafe.com, the main organization for these events, “Death Cafes” are supposed to be a positive space for people to talk openly about dying. These cafes do not have set topics or speakers and are should be open and respectful of all beliefs.

This style of conversation started in Europe in 2012 by Jon Underwood and Sue Barsky Reid and the cafes were based on the ideas of Bernard Crettaz. The cafes have since spread across the world. The groups are always free, open to all and designed not to lead people to a decision. All “Death Cafes” are run by volunteers.

“There’s no pressure to stay or overshare,” Ziegler said.

Since it was the first “Death Cafe,” the group of roughly 30 people introduced themselves before splitting into small groups of eight to have a discussion. Attendees ranged from University of Idaho students and hospice volunteers.

Chris Sokol, the director of the Latah County Library District, said she was first interested to hear about the idea of the library hosting the event. When Ziegler brought the idea up, Sokol mentioned the possibility of she and Rivapalacio working together to organize it.

“It really could be a really good thing to have here,” Sokol said.

Kali Nelson can be reached at knelson@dnews.com.