Sometimes, it is just way too easy to write a column.
The Daily Dodo is a newsletter one can follow that most often has non-essential cute animal stories and photos. Interestingly, many of these are picked up by the news media as well and vice versa. The fact is in media, cute animal images and their stories sell.
So on Wednesday, a story appeared showing a woman's dog in a "coyote-proof vest." Yes, I checked the header to make sure this was not published on April Fool's Day.
"Beanie," an aging Chihuahua, looks humbled as hell in this day-glo pink contraption (coyotevest.com) that covers her body from ears to tail. Along the topline are tufts of prickly fibers like one would find on a rotating street-sweeper brush. Parallel to that are rows of bright, shiny metal spikes. Her face hangs out the front and her tail the rear.
The owner lives in Arizona now, but relocated there from ... wait for it ... New York City. She said the area around Sedona is full of wildlife, making any trip outside cause for hypervigilance for both Beanie and herself.
Now, Beanie hates the vest, even according to her owner. But friends and family who see the little canine in the thing love it, so that's all that counts.
Danger reared its ugly head one day when the Beanster was observed to be less than 12 feet from a coyote. Hence, the $100 purchase was made.
Now, if you think you need one of these, there are milder ones available for about $60 online. The cost is boosted because of the Kevlar and ballistic nylon used by the manufacturer. (For goodness sakes, folks, you are not dressing soldiers or Drug Enforcement Agency agents here.)
On these pages, I once wrote of an aging cat of mine who weighed maybe 3 pounds. She was hit by a great horned owl one night and made it home with a punctured chest cavity. Two days later, she made it out of the WSU Veterinary Teaching Hospital with an appropriately-sized bill for her care. Point taken.
So such things do happen, but I doubt the prickly vest mentioned above would stop a coyote. Here's why. Oops, wait a minute, I need to caution you I'm beginning to describe a predator attack, so if you are squeamish, you might turn the page to the school lunch menus coming up this week.
A determined predator sized like a coyote versus a Chihuahua might be made to curiously pause for such a vest, but trust me, if they are hungry, it will do little to stop them from killing your pet.
The first strike will likely come from behind on a rear leg. If the pooch sees his wild cousin coming, they might try to turn, whereby the bigger jaws will likely grab the face or turn it over.
Either way, a couple of shakes and yelps later, and the vest will be on one side of the yard and the pet and coyote on the other.
Predators can be very determined, and they are undeterred by many things we think might work. Porcupine quills hurt. Skunk spray smells and can irritate the eyes. Turtle and tortoise shells seem invincible. Nonetheless, I've seen many predators up close as have most wildlife experts.
It is common for them to have a face full of old quills and smell like a skunk, but be well fed. Sharks eat sea turtles like we eat potato chips.
There is no perfect predator, and there is no perfect protection. Save your money and monitor your pets.
Charlie Powell is the public information officer for the Washington State University College of Veterinary Medicine, which provides this column as a community service. For questions or concerns about animals you'd like to read about, email cpowell@vetmed.wsu.edu.
