Dear Republicans, I want to talk to you about this guy you’ve been seeing. I know he can be very charming when he wants to. He makes you feel good about yourself, and it’s hard to even think about leaving someone you’ve been with for so long. But he’s not good for you, and as your friends, we’re tired of seeing him hurt you.

Aren’t you getting tired of apologizing for his erratic behavior and juvenile bullying? Aren’t you fed up with the lies, broken promises and incessant whining? The way he’s always asking for money even though he claims to be successful? His constant troubles with the law? The embarrassing social media posts? His inability to accept responsibility for anything? His relentless slandering of our country? Aren’t you tired of him making a mockery of your religion and your patriotism by turning them into tacky business ventures? Aren’t you tired of betraying your convictions to prove your loyalty to him?

He keeps promising you a better life, but you gave him a shot and it got you nothing but excuses. You deserve better. You are hard-working, decent, honest, freedom-loving Americans, and you ought to be with someone who shares those values. Somebody proud and dignified like yourselves. But he doesn’t, and he isn’t.

He’s lazy, crude and narcissistic. He doesn’t care about you. Even when he says he’s looking out for you, it’s only to get something he wants. He’s using you, and I think on some level you know it.

Listen, please, conservative friends and neighbors: You. Don’t. Need. Him.

You’re too good for him. He doesn’t appreciate you, and you deserve to be appreciated. He doesn’t respect you, and you are worthy of respect. He pretends to care about you, but when it comes down to it, he only ever does what’s best for himself. He gaslights you. He lies to you. He abuses your trust and loyalty.

And it hurts me to see you let yourself be subjugated by someone so awful when you could do so much better. You’d be in every way better off without this toxic person in your life.

Maybe you’ve been treated this way so long that you’re used to it. Maybe you think that he’s all you’ve got. Maybe you’ve resigned yourself to the idea that you can’t do better.

Maybe you’re afraid that if you leave you’ll have no one and be left on your own. But there are a lot of fish in the political sea, and most of them will treat you better if you just make space and give them a chance. Honestly, some fish are worse than no fish at all. (You might even try one of those exotic blue fish for a change; I hear good things!)

You’ll never get the life you want with this partner. He won’t change or grow. He won’t admit his mistakes or learn. He’ll never start treating you better, and you’ll stay isolated because everyone else can see him for what he is. Frankly, we despise him for how he treats you and wish you’d stop defending this person who has never done anything but hurt you.

Dig deep, find your self-respect, and go find someone who deserves your devotion. You don’t have to keep being the victim of his capricious idiocy and casual violence. You deserve a leader with integrity, compassion, and love of country. You deserve to live with dignity and pride.

I know he’s tried to convince you that he’s the victim in all of this — that we’re just out to get him for no reason. But we truly want to help you. We want better for you. And we’re not going to give up on you. When you come to your senses, we’ll be here for you.

All we want is for you to once again believe in your own worth, to end this toxic relationship, and to move on, stronger and wiser, toward a brighter future for all of us together.

Urie is a lifelong Idahoan and graduate of the University of Idaho. He lives in Moscow with his wife and two children. You can find his writing online at Medium (hopeanyway.medium.com) or Substack(hopeanyway.substack.com) or email him at ryanthomasurie@gmail.com.