The new year has always been a time to look back and try to improve upon ourselves.
While in Costa Rica, I met a man who summed up his ideals in one sentence: “I try to be a better person today than I was yesterday.” He went on to say that he prepared and maintained some land so neighborhood children could play soccer. A soccer match with professional players was happening that weekend which he organized as a fundraiser to help a neighbor pay medical bills. He told of how he spends time to stop for coffee and pastry with his mother each day even though she had nine children. He was such an inspiration.
New Year’s resolutions seem to be forgotten two weeks after I’ve made them. This year I’m going to read more, complain and judge less, be more thoughtful and mindful. It’s sometimes hard to stay in the present. We look back at the past and ahead at the future and lose sight of the wonder in front of us. Trying to figure out what to say next before someone finishes their sentence is a habit some of us wish to break.
I plan to ask myself more frequently how can I make the world a better place and who am I able to help.
Kindness seems to come more easily to me than thoughtfulness. The latter takes a great deal more consideration before action and I’m prone to want to jump in and fix things for others instead of letting them muddle through and figure things out for themselves. I guess in the short term it shortens my anxiety about them, but didn’t fix the reason that they’d gotten themselves into the mess in the first place.
The older I’ve become, the more I realize that I need to trust in the universe more than I have. People will disappoint or hurt us with or without intent, knowingly or not, and I’m sure we’ve done the same. I wonder just how much of my disappointment in life was caused by my own expectations and not really what the other person did or said, or the way some situation turned out. Sometimes what seemed a disaster turned out to be what needed to happen to change a bad circumstance into something better.
Recently I was getting an MRI when the thought popped into my head that perfection and control are merely illusions. I had spent so much of my work life on a rigid schedule that I carried it into my retired life. Being in countries where people don’t worship their watch and adhere to tight schedules was disconcerting, but in hindsight, maybe I’ve been too uptight my entire life. Getting someplace five minutes earlier to arrive on time isn’t worth speeding. Maybe I need to learn to slow down, to savor the moments that are slipping by so quickly. Leaving the country taught me some things that I admire in other cultures and yet let me be so grateful that I was born in the U.S.
If I don’t follow through on any other resolution, this year is all about making memories with family and friends. Those will be the real treasures we leave behind or will retrieve from the memory bank on a rainy day. I count my blessings every day to have so many fine people to share life with, to learn from, and to love.
I hope each of us will become just a little better person than we were the day before. Happy New Year.
Christiansen lives in Lewiston. She can be reached at petpal535@gmail.com.
